Its almost that time again.

Its the 29th of November, which means its less than a month until Christmas.

Alot has happened since I last posted, I have gotten past the 10k mark on my NaNoWriMo, I know its not the 50k target but its a good start for a n00b, I have found that is was more difficult to write when John was around, probably becuase he might have read along and questioned my every word, and I also am greatful for some of the encouraging pushes that I got from friends. I probably wouldn't have gotten past 10k without it.

For all those Americans that read this, it was recently Thanksgiving. We obviously don't celebrate it over here, I also think that I could only stand one turkey a year to be honest. But if I was to get in the the spirit of things I know that I am thankful for somethings. Mostly my friends, both from college and FnH, there really isn'y an inbetween, I know i rarely talk to my college friends but it's good to see that they are not totally loosing the will to live at uni, I think the alcohol consumption makes up for things ;) I kid girls. I really do miss them and it really sucks that I won't beable to see them soon, I have no money to get down to Taunton on a weekday, and I would feel guilty if john paid for it as he pays for my rent and food when we go out. When I am around both sets of friends I can be me you know, I always feel lighter when I have been to LRP, and not becuase I'm not in armour.

I have been to LRP 8 times this month, 7 at FnH and 1 at new dawn.  Obvioulsy as I said in the last blog Valvossa died, but so far as Amelia I am having fun. Nile, who is playing my alchemists master have lent me a suit of chain, which should include legs, but I am far to feeble to wear Johns chain legs to I have 3AP HS leather, and leather on my arms, which I bought. So yeah barely been hurt really, I think I got the most injured at BC with all the Githasians in the dark, bastards beat off the armour, then one cut my throat (damn you John), at guilford we did nothing, we were supposed to go find someones dead uncles corpse, but it wasnt in the place were it was meant to be so we went on a wild corpse chase. We came across some suspected bandits, we went the wrong way but Dave J found a very nice looking mushroom, which he collected for no reason.When we got back on track we found a chest of alchemical ingredients. Then we came across a shifyty bloke, then a group of strangly clothed people just stood around in the woods. We then went home. Oh I also got poisened when examining a mushroom, what do you expect from an apprentice.
At lunch Dave J was giving away his wifes clothing so myself and another girl went through the bags and took what we wanted then a friend of ours said he would take home whatever we didnt want to give to his fiancee. 

The afternoon mission was more interesting, I got to play my ghost and seven more people died which included valvossa's good friends Crystol and Corven. So thats a grand total of 13 dead. Whoops. I had fun playing my ghost though I had a hard time keeping the mood up.

This weekend I get to go shopping and laos exchange my camera for one that works we hope. Shopping is second to none when it comes to just relaxing and having fun.

Friends are like stars,  you may not always see them but they are always there.

Enchanted.

So this will hopefully be quick, I have a NaNo to wirte but I just felt like I needed to write this.

I had a good weekend despite dying and also missing the chance to see Peat, who must have arrived at the guilford pub just as we left. Oh well sith happens as they say.

I have had a relativly quiet first few days if the week, mostly playing Dragon age 2 and writing NaNo like my life depends on it, but I am getting stuck, as I am getting to a turning point in my NaNo where my main character is slowly realising that her best friend is possible the right man for her as he is so very caring and her "knight in shining armour" he is like this becuase recently she has been through a break up and its been hard, her ex has just openly attacked her. But I dont want her to seem like a wall flower but she also feels like she wants her friend to show her how much he cares. So I am trying to make it interesting and not a cliche.
I am also trying to sort out my new FnH character, I am playing an alchemist so I have to sort out some nice looking kit.

I will miss Valvossa, and I hope her friends will miss her too.

I also have found out that someone else from my secondary school has spawned a child. It is getting a little ridiculous that people of my age are getting married and having children, its even more stupid then when they were having them in school. I mean you should wait a few years, get your heart broken and put back together a few times, live life before tying yourself down. I know I might sound like a hypocrite as I have been with my partner for over 3 years, but I like to look at things realistically, even if I little on the cynical side, I know that some people are meant for each other and they stay with that person for the rest of our lives, but I also know that some things are not meant to be and people break up, move on and find new love. I'm not gonna get all gushy and say me and John will be together forever, we might we might not, that is how life goes. I just want to make the right choice before tying myself to someone with the words of marriage or another human being, I have seen what it does to people. I mean its happened in my family. I also take a realist approach to this as in this relationship its goes work, house, marriage, kids on the ladder of life. Which is fine, at the rate I am going with finding no job in this forest, we will be on step one for a long time.

I said I would be quick and I dont wanna start ranting. So I will go back to my NaNo.Sorry if there are any missing V's they key doesnt work all the time.

Skinny Love

Golly its November already and its only several weeks until Christmas, but lets not think about all that right now.

This last week has been...interesting, I have started NaNoWirMo which for those who do not know is National Novel Writing Month where people write a story for a month and the target is 50k words. I had also been planning this for the weekend that has just passed. Johns mother made me 50 or so cakes for the banquet which I decrotared myself, only like 20-30 were eaten by other people so I have to eat them now :( I'm gonna be so sick of cake.

Thurday all I did was decorate cake, my fingers felt arthritic afterwards. Friday was a day of getting myself prepared and also getting the second bedroom ready for my friends Peat and Jamie who were crashing here on Saturday, so that consumed most of me day, then I stared at my NaNo and I think I only wrote like 200 words that day, I am using a different font colour everyday, but the other two days I was on fire, so far I had managed like 3000 words or so, I have now passed the 4000 mark. I am proud of myself I have to say.

Saturday was so much fun, I got to see all of my friends though most of them did dissapear off to the exec, our mission was great even if some of it was done a little ham fisted. The second mission looked awesome and I had fun monstering and I was also apparently the kit mule until more of the boys came back from being doomed templar men at arms. As it got darker my vision failed me, so I went to help Bill set up the portal, then I was the portal which was fun though no one got dragged through. I think this year banquet was the best for me, I had so much fun, mostly becuase I was the only girl on my table, I had Peat, Jamie, Nile and occasionally Aiden, Chris T and Ian. I think Tralda was looking down on me ;) I was kept very entertained, Jamie, Nile and Peat were mocking the Knight Commander, all in good spirit though. Chris T came oer at Fifth being strange and crazy. Oh and after getting a vision of ice trolls and getting really cold Sir Harry showed that he was a true noble and offered me his doublet which is strange coming from a Griffon, they should only really set fire to an elf if it was cold :P

Sunday began a little too early that I would have wanted it to, I set my alarm for 7, I probably aimed for 8 and missed. So I couldn't get back to sleep so I came down stairs to read, then I had to make tea for my guests. The missions at bristol were good, though the first one lasted forever, I had to play an Archon of Longstor so I had to lie on the ground and be dead/ dying until they healed me ect. I was there for ages and got very cold so I did little else after that, so once I had finished being an archon I hung out with people behind the portal. Peat got made up as a demon of some kind with a funny looking moustache, but he was not as funny as he looked, when he went to attack he would call a time freeze draw his sword slightly, tell people to fall over then just put his sword away and call a time in. Eep. Our mission was mostly in the dark, but it was fun, there was a moment where Peats character got feared away and I had to shout at him to come back which made me feel so guilty when he knelt at my feet asking what he could do to make it up to me. When we did get he baron to his Revernant brother, the baron died and was be headed, then Sir Harry battled with it and he won becuase he is made of awesome.

So this week will get trying to catch up with NaNo, and getting to LRP again but sadly with less of my friends :(

Smile

I don't know if it is the dank weather that  I see before me out the window or what but I just feel...deflated.  Maybe I am just tired, I have been going to sleep at atleast near 1 in the morning, just lying there with thoughts of this coming weekend, I might be going to Guilford for New Dawn, and how I am not doing anything again for Hallowe'en, one of my friends did suggest something but that would involve me getting to London  and actually being allowed to go on my own as John hates cities and nightclubs. I keep thinking about the banquet and I keep getting more selfconscious about it, like am I over dressing, will the necklace be too much? am I going to make an arse of myself. 

I am also going stir crazy, I know that I have been out to LRP last weekend and I had a good time with friends but that is the only time I get to see them. I guess I am just used to being around my friends everyday from being at college and school. But now all those friends are far away in uni.  And some of my other friends I barely see, mostly because we play in different branches and its expensive to get to other places.

I have gien my cv in to a few shops around glos and applied for a few online, but the main response I am getting when I go in to a shop and ask is "no we aren't looking for anyone at the moment, but give us your cv and we will keep it on file" (and forget about you and give it to someone who applied when you had a vacancy.)  The only place that said yes they were looking for  people at the moment was this shop in glos quays where they sell mens shirts, ties ect and some womens shirts, quite a expensive place.

I decorated some cakes the other day with the FnH guild/church symbols. Some look like a chils made them and some look ok. The only problem is I think I havent made the icing thick enough, as the pen icing has beld in to the other icing and it looks bad now and the icing dough sweats so it looks shiny, but I don't know what it tastes like. I should be making more next week for the banquet.

I know this'll sound bad but I just want to go somewhere that isn't here, on my own. Away from the forest. I want to back to london, I havent been there since I was 6, I don't remember any of it,  I want to see the sights, soak in the culture, go see a play and get some retail therapy. But the drawbacks to this would be I wouldn't be allowed to go on my own there anyway, and I have no money o do said things.

Like many people have said, "Life's a bitch, then you die."

Yours,

Little miss F*$#ing sunshine.

Ideas

Well today I had a bit of a brainstorm/ brainburp.  Sometimes I think up stories that might have potential to be interesting peices.  My only drawbacks are, I can never begin them and I always either loose interest of reach a wall that I can not find a creative way around/over/under. Maybe if I give you the jist of it someone who is lovely enough will give me a creatie poke in the right direction for how to start the damn thing! And if it is interesting to more than someone than my head then I might NaNoWriMo it, but I will never in a milllion years get 50k words in a month.

So the jist....I don't even have a name for this either!

 It is set on earth but in 2120 and the world has been revaged by natural catastrophe, world war (and I mean all of it) and more natural catastrophe, the world is a series of different islands no bigger than the size of Madagasgar or an area of similar size. Cars are obsolete, but there are other forms of transport around.
There are just over 1 billion people left on  the planet, technology has changed but some people are yet to evolve.

Amelia is the focus of the story, she lives on one of the islands that used to make up the United Kingdom which in the past 50 years has reclaimed it's Empire, she has a simple life, but a more privilaged life than most people on the islands that make up the Empire. She has a bit of a struggle with her family, and some of her friends. She meets a person from another Island of the Empire of Britian, which is a relativly rare thing as people don't really travel from island to island anymore, most of people's lives are conducted by technology, Ameila's house may be ran by a computer, she hardly uses it, she doesn't use transport she walks to her job, the only real time she uses computers is for leisure and for cooking.

This is all I have really. I have to think of a real good reason why people don't really go from island to island, they can, there are boats and stuff, some just don't.


Ideas and suggestions welcome.

Dreams and the week gone by.

So last night I had a very odd and very detailed dream, it wasn't like a jumble of pictures and sounds and feelings it felt real. So from what I can remember as I have been awake for some time now was, myself and a few LRP friends, my LO Olly, his fiance Ellie, Seneschal Matt and CC Peat were all on a hiking trip in Germany, and for whatever reason it changed to a hotel in northern Sweden where we were next door to Alexander Skarsgard's house and I think I remember telling Olly and Matt to not play golf as it would to in the Skarsgards garden, then where they were playing golf turned in to a river as they had just got splashed by a boat. Then I remember looking at a map of Sweden and all the rivers were in a grid formation like you would see the streets of Manhattan and me and Peat were navigating our way to the coast via the rivers (there is no coast in NE Sweden, it goes in to Norway). We went back in to the hotel and it had changed in to an Apple shop, but then there  is a rather blank space and it jumps to the gilmore girls.

You know when you think of something and it sounds good and then when you wrtire it down it isn't as good. Well this is it.

Any way this week has been unpleasent. I'm just feeling a little like a puppet on string. So yeah I have been upset a few times this week. Yay. I think my brain has been giving me strage a odd dreams to distract me from the real world. I'm also worried about one of my friends, and I think a few people are.

I just need to get out of this  house, hopefully I will get to a little earlier today as we are going to the cinema in Gloucester later and I hoped that John would take us in earlier so I can have a wonder and relax.

I finally got Dragon age legacy, it is awesome but difficult. I died like a million times on the final fight so I had to go back to where I could swap over players. So I hope that I can work out a puzzle that John worked out for me as I don't think I saved it.

I should be practicing making cupcakes with dough icing but I have no motiviation whatsoever, I feel drained so I think I will just play more Legacy. I think I  just need a day alone where I can do things at my own pace and where I don't feel like I'm being watched or hovered over.


Watching Real Steel later. Playing New Dawn tomorrow and probably a whole load of nothing Sunday.


Roll on Nov 5th, I get to have fun, see my friends and dress up.

The internet

Lately this has been getting on my nerves by dropping in and out all the time. It gets really annoying when I am just trying to watch or listen to something and I have to refresh it a thousand times because the internet has decided to take a nap, or when I am trying to talk to someone and msn gives out or face book has a stroke and doesn’t send or receive messages. A friend of mine has this same frustration, though they live in a city not in the country like I do. I am actually writing this blog in works processor because the net wishes to p*ss me off. If the internet had an physical form I would take a flail to its groin.  I wrote an entire blog last night that took me ages to write, and usually blogspot saves as you go but as the net was blinking on and off so often it was failing to do so, so as I clicked publish nothing happened and it told me to log in, and when I got to the main page I had only saved one line, so a gave up, I couldn’t remember what I had typed, I just let my brain tick over. 

I think that if I ever get to go to Gloucester I will take the laptop in the a computer place as both the H and the v key are broken and it is really starting to annoy me.

So besides the net and the keys not working anymore, there have been other things that have been added to the pot of my stress today.  My cold has gone away but has left behind the cough, and I just don’t have the energy to cough anymore which makes it more painful, I just want to rip out my lungs, I mean they don’t really work anymore anyway, they’ll probably kill me one day anyway.

The inability to go anywhere more than a two hour walks worth away. John hating cities and general walking around said cities. I will never see London ever again at this rate.

Johns mother....*twitch*



Not having a job.

Not being near any of my friends.

Oh and my knees must think I am 60 because they are complaining.

Rant over I'm fine everything is sunny and not filled the psychotic thoughts. I have tea.